Tonight I Bake My Madness a Birthday Cake

chrssy: riding your man like

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:30:46 -0700

riding your man like

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:30:38 -0700

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

like-snape-loved-lily: profanity-generator: cummanding: they...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:29:14 -0700

like-snape-loved-lily:

profanity-generator:

cummanding:

they forgot internet explorer

he’s still loading

^ omg

88th: is there proof of anyone winning a tumblr giveaway ever

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:29:06 -0700

88th:

is there proof of anyone winning a tumblr giveaway ever

Cosmo Sex Tip #676

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:28:47 -0700

ohhvanity:

shoe-inhibitions:

When he cums in your hand, wipe it on his forehead and whisper: “Simba”

Omg.

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:28:36 -0700

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:28:09 -0700

corkidorki: After our trip to the island “Oh sweet bed, how...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:27:55 -0700

corkidorki:

After our trip to the island

“Oh sweet bed, how I’ve missed you.”

onlylolgifs: More hilarious gifs here!!

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:53:10 -0700

onlylolgifs:

More hilarious gifs here!!

jenbee: Encouragement bear, I think I love you. (via: pheezy)

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:44:59 -0700

jenbee:

Encouragement bear, I think I love you.

(via: pheezy)

this is my human. when human is fussy, i just pet it like...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:37:04 -0700

this is my human. when human is fussy, i just pet it like this.

as you can see, human is calm.

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:26:20 -0700

findthepaththatisyourown: peaceloveandstarwars: “I was...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:18:10 -0700

findthepaththatisyourown:

peaceloveandstarwars:

“I was walking down the boardwalk in Venice Beach and some kids had probably two litters of puppies in a cardbord box. They were maybe a day to 3 days old and she was at the very bottom of the box and she couldn’t open her eyes yet. Nearly could fit into the palm of my hand.. and they were like ‘gimme 300 dollars!’ and I was like ‘I got 20 bucks on me. Give me the one that’s not gonna make it through the day.’ And I took her to the vet and he was like ‘I don’t know, man. She’s too young, she shouldn’t be away from her mom.’ So I bottle-fed her for a month and she used to kiss her way around which is how she got her name ‘Bisou’ - it means ‘kiss’ in french. And 12 years later, here she is.”

ALL OF MY CREYS

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 22:14:22 -0700

warpedpitblog: gaybunnies: MOSHPIT This is pretty awesome.

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:57:31 -0700

warpedpitblog:

gaybunnies:

MOSHPIT

This is pretty awesome.

brutalgeneration: Camping under the stars (by Simone Miotto)

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:56:54 -0700

brutalgeneration:

Camping under the stars (by Simone Miotto)

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:54:22 -0700

fashionfever: “I’ll never forget the day Marilyn and I were...

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:53:43 -0700

fashionfever:

“I’ll never forget the day Marilyn and I were walking around New York City, just having a stroll on a nice day. She loved New York because no one bothered her there like they did in Hollywood, she could put on her plain-jane clothes and no one would notice her. She loved that. So as we we’re walking down Broadway, she turns to me and says ‘Do you want to see me become her?’ I didn’t know what she meant but I just said ‘Yes’- and then I saw it. I don’t know how to explain what she did because it was so very subtle, but she turned something on within herself that was almost like magic. And suddenly cars were slowing and people were turning their heads and stopping to stare. They were recognizing that this was Marilyn Monroe as if she pulled off a mask or something, even though a second ago nobody noticed her. I had never seen anything like it before.” - Amy Greene, wife of Marilyn’s personal photographer Milton Greene

ourspiritnow: travelerfromanantiqueland: always…..always..post...

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:52:16 -0700

ourspiritnow:

travelerfromanantiqueland:

always…..always..post this

“Christian leaders stand on our soil and say ‘gay marriage’ has never occurred here. Over 130 tribes in every region of North America performed millions of same-sex marriages for hundreds of years. Their statements are both hateful and ignorant. Your ‘homosexual’ was our ‘Two Spirit’ people… and we considered them sacred.”

Hundreds of years of love. ourspiritnow

while watching animated movies at age 2: hell yeah motherfucker

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:51:52 -0700

while watching animated movies at age 2: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 12: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 20: hell yeah motherfucker
while watching animated movies at age 200: hell yeah motherfucker